confusing bits

i'm struggling through
wading through
this identity stuff
this role confusion

to be a woman is a beautiful calling

i really do believe
so i'll keep wrestling with this

please give me grace and clarity.

my psalm 136::His love endures forever

Last night in growth groups, we re-wrote Psalm 136 to capture our God stories...there's so much more I could have written, but this reflects what has been on my heart. If you haven't read Psalm 136, or you haven't read it in a while...you should read it, and maybe write your own :)

My Psalm 136::
Give thanks to the Lord, for He's a good Father
His love endures forever

Give thanks to our perfect provider
His love endures forever

Give thanks to our source of strength
His love endures forever

To him who calls us to himself
His love endures forever

Who created us to worship him
His love endures forever

Who gives us dreams and purpose
His love endures forever

Who shows his love in snowy nights
His love endures forever

And the hope of spring's return
His love endures forever

From beginning to end
His love endures forever

To him who stayed with me in my darkest hours
His love endures forever

And showed me hope in times of pain
His love endures forever

Who loved me when I clung to anger
His love endures forever

Who taught me the meaning of home
His love endures forever

To him who united my family
His love endures forever

And sent us on adventures together
His love endures forever

But never sent us out alone
His love endures forever

To him who taught me how to love
His love endures forever

Who provided grace and forgiveness when I had none
His love endures forever

And was my rock when I was weakened
His love endures forever

Though pain and insecurities come
His love endures forever

Though confusion rains and sits like fog
His love endures forever

He has given light in darkness
His love endures forever

And hope on the path of struggle
His love endures forever

To the one who loves me despite my flaws
His love endures forever

And frees me from anxiety
His love endures forever

And gives exactly what I need
His love endures forever

Give thanks to the Father, Abba
His love endures forever

and God sent manna to the OCC

see that girl
three rows back from the front
that one
the girl with the ridiculous spiderman
folder
that one
the girl whose hair is still wet
the girl who barely made it here on time today--
and she's Mine
(and how she makes Me smile)
she's My daughter
and I love her.
I only wish she knew
how happy I am to see her today
running to me
waiting for me
laughing, loving, smiling--
she has My heart.

confessions of a busy soul

Busy, busy, busy.
I've begun to believe
that all of this busyness can
give me what I need.
But busyness for you
is nothing like being with
You.

A Note to the World on Valentine's Day

Dear World,
Well...I've never been super crazy about Valentine's Day. But it's growing on me. There's something to be said for the sweet gestures we make to remind others that we love them. As I'm looking at my desk that is practically covered in chocolates from my girls, notes from friends (ah sweet roomates!), and my vase full of flowers from Zach...I suppose I can be okay with this Valentine's Day thing. :)
(By the way, did you know that there are now blue-raspberry conversation hearts? Um whoa! Talk about progress!)
Yeah, I really don't have much to say today. I was just struck by the sweetness of yesterday and today and needed to tell you all that I'm feeling very loved today...and who wouldn't be? I'm thankful today for the people in my life who love me and remind me that I am loved...even when it's not Valentine's Day.
Love, Caitlin.

P.S. Best Valentine's Day date ever: PB& J, Ice Cream Salad, Zach and Caitlin and...
this.

a little t.s. eliot

"There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of toast and tea."

-The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

revelation

"Prayer is tangible evidence that we believe it's God who does the work.
How often we fail to realize how much our prayer life reveals our actual theology."
-Dr. Harmon

Wanted: Mother Abbess

I've realized recently that whenever life starts getting a little to real, a little too scary and a little too grownupish, my initial reaction is to run away. Like Maria in The Sound of Music, I feel to my abbey in hopes that somehow life will settle while I'm gone. I'm realizing that life isn't designed to work this way. It didn't work for Maria and it doesn't work for me. Perhaps I need my own personal Mother Abbess to remind me that I need to "climb every mountain" instead of running away in fear. After all, I don't really belong in the abbey.