Difficult Solidification

This week has not gone at all as I had planned that it would. Not. At. All.
I find it so ironic that the week which started out with a freeing epiphany (I am not my grades!! My grades are not me!!) later found me in tears, weeping because I was scared about what not clinging to my 'A' student identity would mean. On Monday night I declared my freedom. Tuesday afternoon I was setting up an appointment because of an unexpected health issue. Something had to give, and that something was my homework. By Friday I was back in my familiar chains.
At this point I am feeling much better, and ready for a break.
In one of my classes last week, we talked about how in our relationship with God we aren't constantly growing, but rather has seasons of both growth and solidification. Right now I feel that I'm in a solidification stage, and it's restful, but also painful. I'm past the learning stage and in the application season. I know what needs to change, now it's time to actually take that knowledge and apply it...and it's hard. But it's good.

Now back to homework...:)

What is better...

"'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'"
-Luke 10:41-42

I'm learning to choose what is better.

Sometimes what is better doesn't make much sense.
Sometimes I feel irresponsible choosing what is better over what seems more pressing.
Sometimes I worry that choosing what is better is going to affect my grades negatively. (Which after this college experience is over really isn't going to matter...but sometimes it feels like it matters a LOT!)
Sometimes choosing what is better means choosing to rest.
Sometimes choosing what is better means setting aside my agenda, my schedule and my stress.

Oh, I have so much to learn.