This year did not begin as I would have liked it to. Well actually, I should say…last year did not end the way that I thought it would.
I caved in to defeat…and I didn’t try very hard to fight it.
I was in a very dark place.
I’m back on my feet again, I have been restored. I am learning to trust, and to move forward with confidence. But I did not arrive in this peace on my own. I wish that I could say that I have found within myself the strength and grace to overcome the doubts and the fears which overtook me. I don’t think that strength naturally resides within me, however. Left to figure this out on my own, I would still be wandering and wallowing. I am so thankful for the patience of God, my family, and my friends who stood by me, who are standing by me still. In God, I have the peace, strength and grace that I need.
Normally at the beginning of a new year, I am so ready for a fresh start. I rejoice in the newness…and our God who makes all things new. This year, while I am thankful for these truths, I am more thankful for the constancy of God, my rock, who has not abandoned me in the darkness, but has rescued me. I’m still not sure if I’m ready for this year, but I’m holding on and moving forward with confidence because I know that He delights in me, and will not leave me in my defeat.
Happy New Year (eight days late).
Oh and Papa, if you're reading this...this is my rock that I should have put in the pile. :)
"He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me."
-Psalm 18:16-19
